Testimony v. 2 1/31/18

Hope it's been good.

Following up on what I wanted to share, I think I stopped at... being frustrated and lost at Deloitte, despising not knowing what I wanted to do for my future.

On a side note, one thing that's been helpful was that when you're stuck and you're repeating same patterns over and over again yielding same results, sometimes drastic changes in your lifestyle Or your worldview is necessary. I did and it was worth it. especially when it comes to your faith.

For one, during my junior/senior year when I was close to walking out on Christianity, I had a chance to go to Africa. that summer, I probably spent over two hours a night reading/watching debates/researching/testing assumptions, to see if God was real. I didn't want to spend every sunday going to church for some lie bc I'm pretty arrogant and I value my time a lot. So I went to Africa with some Princeton kids and that's where I met Sang. Sangwoo's little bro. But I wanted to experience God's power, so I went without taking any shots. (Later I found out that my bunk bed mate got Malaria and I was completely fine even when I had over 50 mosquito bites. Sang helped me count the bites lolz. And I'm pretty positive we shared the same mosquitos) Basically I just really wanted to know, and I was very convinced by the people that I met that He was real. But what really convinced me was something that I felt spiritually. There was this presence that I could not shake off just as chemical imbalance in my head. And there were healings that were taking place, which I think is really difficult to refute because endless sick and disabled people kept on coming over and over again.

So I come back thinking God exists, but your search for God never ends. Back to my story, there I was again, despite being convinced that God was real (spiritually/physically) from the trip, despite having a logical basis for my faith after taking discipleship, I was frustrated because I hated work, had no direction in life, and wanted to do something for the Kingdom, kind of similar to your situation right now. So here's where it gets interesting. I quit work, everything that I worked so hard for in undergrad and decided to go to YWAM (Youth With a Mission) discipleship training. So I spent 3 months in New Zealand and 2 months in Nepal for missions. This was a game changer. Thus far, I thought that believing in Jesus was enough. But experiencing the personal relationship with God is another. Heck, even Satan believes that God exists. 

During the lecture phase, I learned about my identity as a son, and where I stood before God, and Him as a Father, Lord, and friend.  Then restoration and transformation began to take place. It was not much of my doing, but I must admit that I made myself available. In that I took an action to come before Him and He met me there. My faith was action based, because I sought him. And He totally and completely changed my life. Not that we can earn grace, but grace manifests to those that actively receives it. It's NEVER passive!

There, I experienced chains being broken. My sins that I've been battling with, porn/masturbation, and I was completely freed from it. Skepticism became healthy questioning only to strengthen my faith, and peace that surpasses understanding was instilled within me. 

Yes, I mess up a lot of times, but I come back stronger. Because I understand grace better now and I'm incapable of being miserable like I was two years ago at Deloitte.

Please don't feel like I'm patting myself on the back for this exciting narrative that I'm painting. All it is that the shitty kid that I am, made decisions to seek after God. And He did the rest. I just put my hand out and he gave freely.

What I mean by taking action/actively receiving could be interpreted in ways that the Bible describes:  

James 4:8 "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you"

Jeremiah 29:12-1412 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the Lord

MAtthew 7:7 7Ask and it will be given to you; seek andyou will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened 

Luke 11:9  So I tell you:Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

The overarching theme in the scriptures is you seek God, then God moves. It's seemingly conditional, not I beg to differ. The truth of the matter is, Christianity can be boiled down to a love relationship between God and us. By definition, relationship cannot be a one way pursuit. This is something that PP said at the retreat. After all, it was God who first loved us 1 John 4:19.

Steve, Faith isn't something that's natural, it's actually something that's active. It must be practiced. It's something that we achieve by the power of the Holy Spirit. It's never passive. So when you passively wait until logic is satisfied, then your faith will never be activated. And Christianity can't be materially proven, so if you have just enough logical basis to back your beliefs, I say jump. That's where God meets you and strengthens your faith more and more. It's sort of counter intuitive. We think in order for our faith not to be fake, we wait until we are comfortable making a leap. But often times, it's when we take leaps of faith that God works. Then our faith becomes real. That's part of his job description :)

So I encourage you bro, whatever that something drastic or actively seeking God looks like for you. Whether if it's going to Tuesday Night Prayer, praying at home consistently and desperately, researching the logical basis for your faith, going on Missions, quitting your job to pursue God, or taking discipleship class, Whatever that is... you must draw near to Him. You must knock, you must seek, and you must Ask! 

Favorite Quotes

I told my son, “You will marry the girl I choose.”
He said, “NO!”
I told him, “She is Bill Gates’ daughter.”
He said, “OK.”
I called Bill Gates and said, “I want your daughter to marry my son.”
Bill Gates said, “NO.”
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.”
Bill Gates said, “OK.”
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, “NO.”
I told him, “My son is Bill Gates’ son-in-law.”
He said, “OK.”
This is exactly how politics works . . .


“Till sin be bitter; Christ will not be sweet.” Such is the testimony of Psalm 32.
- Thomas Watson

Love is the key

Joy is love singing

Peace is love resting

Long suffering is love enduring

Kindness is love's touch

Goodness is love's character

Faithfulness is love's habit

Gentleness is love's self-forgetfulness

Self-control is love's holding the reins.

-Donald Grey Barnhouse

Homosexuality

Erika
God loves you so much regardless, so that's great news. Gay, straight, weird (yay), short (yay) or tall. He's our father... would you, if you had a child, not love your child? Going back to the greatest commandment, which sums up all other commandments, Christianity at its core is to love God with all your heart. Even the first commandment God had uttered was not to have false gods (idols). Everything else is secondary. When we're talking about premarital sex, we're talking about just one of the sins. Even a relationship with a straight partner with no premarital sex could become your false god. It’s about your heart Erika. Not having premarital sex doesn't warrant intimacy with God, let alone, a ticket to heaven. It's all really petty shit, when Christianity is really just about your relationship with God. It's difficult to talk about Christianity to people when majority of the conversations are about whether if they're going to heaven or hell. Essentially, were saying we love God only because he will let us into heaven. Imagine if you had a child and she only loved you because of your big house. Then we have missed the point and broke our father’s heart. To me, pre-marital sex or not, gay or straight, I don't think that's what sends you to heaven. It is whether if He is your Lord and whether if you love him with all your heart. So, no such thing as double doom. But here's the thing. If you can tell me you can love God with all your heart, by dating her or marrying her, I will be the first one to support you in this. If anyone can find a way to love God honorably by intentionally exercising sex outside of marriage and homosexuality on a regular basis, I will not only support it, but will promote it. Maybe there is a way, but my best guess based on what I study, I’m not so sure. I personally do not think this is a phase, I do think this is what your heart desires. And I wish I can tell you to follow your heart, but often times, our hearts are deceitful. How can I be disappointed in you when this is something that you feel in your heart?  Don’t only listen to what people say, or ignore them completely, but please find intimacy with the Lord and hear his voice. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but please don’t feel that I don’t care for you from the bottom of my heart. Whatever choice you make, I will love you because I know that’s how our Father will feel towards you. Miss you Erika and your beautiful morning face.


Kurt
This is my personal belief and I hope to answer the issue of Homosexuality without pinpointing one sin over another, but in Christinaity as a whole. As I mentioned before, homosexuality is not a greater sin than premarital sex, watching porn, and lusting- even thinking about any other women in a lustful way (and the list goes on and we're all guilty). This is because we're all born in sin (the fall of man - Adam declared indepednece from God stemming from pride)
So it's not that we don't accept homosexuals, we just want to take back our love for God again. There's these words we refer to as justification and sanctification. Justification is what Jesus already did, bearing our sins and offering us salvation. Once we accept Jesus as our personal savior, we're on our way to sanctification, where we're now in the process of being transformed to the image of God himself (his characteristics: loving, faithful, trustworthy, just etc).  I think the key here is the sanctification process. Where we are being transformed naturally by hanging out with something supernatural and divine, we're getting rid of anything that is not of God: Masterbation, premarital sex, lusting, and homosexuality in part. So there are homosexuals that have accepted Jesus as their savior, but are transformed (No not brain-washed, but supernaturally transformed) and genuinely happy by not being homosexuals anymore . No, we're not changing who they are are, because at the root of all things, God made people in the image of God. We celebrate shedding off Every form of sin (sin basically means anything that's not of God: cheating, lying, steal, lusting etc) and becoming sanctfied into his image every day. Once you experience this love and peace that surpasses understanding, you can't help but to find more about him, hang out with him, and pray to him. The heart of Chrisitinaity is not to become better people, but the essensce of Christianity is your relationship with God. And everything else that you see - becoming better people, doing nice things - these are just byproducts of our relationshp with God.


FYI, this will all make more sense once we develop a good understanding of Christinaity (not religious Christianity, but a relational one), but from on outsider looking in, oh man I know how offensive and injustice this may sound because I've been there and I was pissed off. Dude, my best friend from college is gay.

Genuine Losers 10/18/17

Genuine Losers are the ones that are content. Complacent. The ones that have the knowledge and choose to settle. The ones that rely on their own understanding. The ones that aren't hungry for truth. The ones that after they have been fed the truth, that go home, and stay the same. People that don't try when regardless of whether if they're up or down

The Losers that God uses are the ones that try. It doesn't matter what circumstances they're in. They do what is in their control and do not bank on the results because that is not theirs to worry. They are the ones that do whatever they can, within their control, do whatever it takes to pursue Jesus. Over and over again because daily bread never stops.

The Book of John - This Time Around

When I read the Book of John this time around, I was highlighted in full, the unity of God the Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit. Not the emphasis on Loving one another, which I always thought the Book of John was all about.

The recurring theme that I noticed was "the Father has sent me, so I am sending you" that the Son and the Father are One in truth. And So are His Son and us as followers of Christ.

20:21 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

5:19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.

17:18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

What I get out from the Book of John this time around is that Jesus really wants us to be like Him (Christ) and God the Father because they are one in Truth. What's interesting about verse 23 is that, to forgive someone and to say that their sins are forgiven, almost sounds like we have the authority to erase sin because God bestowed that authority onto us. And that authority is contingent on whether the Holy Spirit is in us.

I sense that as we become more in tune with God, we must also recognize and awaken the authority that's given onto us. We are powerful because just as the Father sent his Son into the world, His Son is sending us into the world. 

Yolk is Easy and Burden is Light 10/17/16

The verse in Matthew 11:30, finally made sense to me.
When I think of life as Christian, it is so difficult and frustrating to go against your flesh and blood, always fighting and putting up a guard.
But this week I tasted and experienced this verse come alive.
I believe His yoke is easy and His burden is light, when our appetite changes. When my desire to not want to sin heightens and my burden of doing God's will decreases, it's easy to resist sin and it's difficult to go against God's will. I think the secret here is transformation.
I worked twice as hard and studied twice as hard. The circumstances were actually against me. But what was for me was the power of the spirit. In John it says flesh gives birth to flesh and spirit gives birth to spirit. Since the Holy Spirit was working in me, although the circumstances were against me, I was able to firsthand experience spirit giving birth to spirit. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

*Update 10/18/17
This still holds. When you adore and look at someone with affection. Things aren't tedious any longer. Preparing for cell group, praying long hours, it becomes easy and the burden is light.

Prayer 10.13.16

It dawned on me the value or the significance of prayer. Praying for someone is humility. It allows us to bring our biggest desires for someone other than yourself and ask God to bless them. We humbly ask God and God only without the credit being due to us.It's a humble and a generous act because God honors it. He's a God of the humble.